Have you ever felt the rain?

wetrose

She has always been drawn to the rain, to the thunder and the lightening. Maybe it is because she has a storm that stirs in her soul that  is never quiet. Maybe she can feel even more when the raindrops splash on her skin, as if the droplets open up the windows to the deepest thoughts and most vivid imagination.

Ever since she can remember, she has watched for rain clouds. She has never seen the storms as a threat, or the rain as something sad. She sees these as opportunities to grow, as a portal into a place that can only be found in the rain.

Only on a rare occasion, has she been able to open herself up to the storm enough to share it with another. His touch, like the raindrops on her skin, took her to a place that she had only imagined.

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They spent the day together, simply enjoying each other. She felt comfortable, relaxed with him. Two things that were rare for her to know. An energy glowed from deep inside her…she knew something was stirring

As the hours passed, his mind often wandered to her silky skin that was hidden beneath the long pink dress she wore. Although the material flowed around her body, it hugged the curves he longed to touch, exposed her sun-kissed skin just enough to distract him. The pale pink cotton and lace seemed to glow against her tan skin.

They lay in the mid-summer afternoon, shaded by an old hickory tree, listening to the creek below and the gentle breeze rustling the grasses around them. Watching clouds drifting above them and quietly conversing about nothing at all, they seemed to be lost in one another. Her head lay on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. His body was warm, inviting, and felt like home next to hers. She could hear a quiet rumble in the distance, but she didn’t stir. She had been here before, and hadn’t ever found the realization of the source of the thunder. So many times, the thunder was silenced before she could see the lightening, before she could feel the rain. She refused to allow expectations to invade her mind. By doing so, she knew she wouldn’t be disappointed.

His hands trailed down her bare shoulder and over her arm. He stroked her gently, listening to her hushed breathing, simply taking her in. She smelled of summertime and sweet sunshine, he couldn’t describe it in words…just that it was only one of the million things that he was drawn to. He found her to be a mystery, that was yearning to be solved. Although she never appeared to be lost, or even broken…no, she was far from either one. Her intensity was soft and still, but powerful all the more. He closed his eyes, memorizing her with his touch. Etching these moments into his mind. He wanted her, in ways beyond description. Not only her body, but all of her. He ached to climb the walls, look into the windows, and crash through the door. He absorbed her, taking her in with each breath. Her presence was like that of a sleeping lion and a tender butterfly, all at once. How could one person possess such a spectrum of intensity.

She could feel him watching her, trying to read the lines in her book, that was rarely open.

A bolt of lightning, emanating from the ominous dark clouds of a severe thunderstorm, strikes a wheat field near Elmer, Oklahoma. The unusual color of the clouds on the left side of the photo is due to hail inside the storm.

As she felt the caress of his fingertips trailing over her bare shoulders, down her arms, and into her hands, her body responded in the unexpectedly expected way she knew was always there… but had only experienced a few times before this moment.

It felt as if his fingertips were on the door handle to those places where secrets and passion played…and he was turning the handle.

The air cooled around them, and the scent of rain filled her senses. She wasn’t sure if an actual storm was approaching, or if the storm brewing within her was taking over.

He reached to her face, needing to see her eyes.  He knew that she would try to remain hidden, but he also knew she need to be found… just as much as he need to be lost in her. As he held her faced, cupped in his hands, he kissed her forehead.  Simply pressing his lips to her skin, he felt her becoming warm against him.  He could sense the hope of the beginning of her release…no matter how small.

This was the beginning of a terrifying journey that he couldn’t resist taking.

He pulled away slowly, leaning his forehead against hers. As he looking at her, she kept her gaze down, so not to look into his eyes. He held her there for only a moment, then quietly told her to look at him, to let him see her.

Although she resisted, she looked up into his eyes as he continued to gently hold her face.  These windows were heavily shaded, she wasn’t going to give him a glimpse into this storm, not just yet.  Maybe if he allowed her to see further into who he was, she might just allow him the same pleasure. It was a necessary risk.

She saw a unique landscape as she looked into his eyes. A flicker of hot passion, shadowed with a gentle compassion, hiding an intense curiosity that had always felt like a curse.  As she found the combination of all these, she craved even more, knowing he had more to compliment her own chaos.

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She was cautious but wanted to dive into this beautiful mess head first. His resistance met hers equally. They both have demons that keep them from ever becoming submerged in another.

He quietly asked for her permission before kissing her perfect lips. As he tasted her sweet mouth on his, all sense of control seemed to spiral. Images of all the things he wanted to do to her, with her, and for her raced through his mind.  His gentle kiss became more urgent. He felt the tip of her tongue tracing his lips. He wondered if she could feel the power she had over him, or if she realized the strength it took for him to remain calm…to continue to be a gentleman next to her.

There was this beast-like need beginning to boil within him, as if her kiss was feeding this starved animal.

Inside looking out…

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She had known there was something different and absolutely unique about the way she would see the world, and maybe even about the way the world would see her. It took many years, many broken hearts, and oceans of tears before she started to see the reflection in the mirror for who she really was.

Quiet, yet confident, she faced each day with the same attitude;

“Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.”

And this approach has made many enemies, but just as many friends. People would be drawn to her, without her pulling them in. Often times, she would question others’ motives. Why these people wanted to be near her, to befriend her, to be in her circle. Which, has always been very small and exclusive. Although she was friendly with anyone she met, her true friends were few and far between. It was only those who had the patience and matching confidence, who were allowed to get behind the walls. Because, once someone has found his or her way behind her walls, they will struggle to escape her…. even though she never keeps anyone against their will.

From the time she was young, people complimented her eyes. A piercing blue, that could see into others like looking through a window. Her intuition about people has almost always been exact. Although, when she’s mistaken, she will be the first to admit it. Her heart is genuine, and she loves too much, cares too hard, and when she hurts… every cell all the way to her soul is in pain.

She watches carefully, those around her. Always cautious. Rarely does she quickly jump in with both feet, but neither does she just test the waters. She has learned her passions, and if she isn’t all in, she isn’t in at all. Really, what is the point of doing anything in life if only part way?

If she could have a dollar for every time she was told that life doesn’t give you any more than you can handle…she would be a millionaire, many times over. Her past has shaped her, but it does not define her. The people she trusted the most, have been the ones who have inevitably broken that trust, but she has yet to be broken.  People have crossed her path, and walked with her for many miles. Others have simply crossed, leaving a footprint on the trail. Even those single footprints, leave an impression in her mind, and sometimes her soul.

Some of the words shared here are stories from those footprints, some from the long, winding path…filled with many impressions. And some stories are of those when the only footprints on her path, were her own. Travelling this journey of life, Scarlett has become less and less ignorant, meaning she was simply naive, but was never once stupid. Education, especially learning from the lessons of life, is quite possibly the most important thing that can not be taken when it’s time to go…..

That….

And the memories made with the best of intentions.